<3.

To quote directly from a book about recession tips;

"This is a bad time but it will pass quickly. We all know roughly why it's happened and to a degree we're all partly to blame, although the bankers deserve the lion's share of it obviously. So put down that cudgel and stop hanging around outside Northern Rock and let's not dwell on the past and look to the future.

By 2015 what is making you worry now will be but a distant memory and you will look back through the fog of time and wonder what all the fuss was about.

By 2050 there will most certainly have been another recession, possibly two, even three and you'll be an old hand at dealing with them. You will laugh in the face of monetary meltdown.

By 2100 you will almost certainly be dead. Sorry to be blunt but it's true.

By 2200 you will most likely be completely and totally forgotten other than an entry on a family tree, a profile on Facebook or a dusty photo on a wall.

By 5000AD it is likely that the human race will be extinst. Forget global warming, our explosive rate of population growth is not sustainable and nature will correct it. Nature corrects, that's what it does.

Sixty million years hence a new species will be digging up your fossilised remains, polishing them and putting them in a museum. Experts will speculate how you were probably green in colour, almost certainly evolved from gerbils and more than likely spent your time mindlessly attacking other humans because you only had brains, laughably, the size of a melon.

In just under a billion years time the earth will be engulfed by the sun as it expands in its final spectacular death throes. After that the sun will go out and become a purposeless lump of dull rock drifting in the frozen void.

So, you, everyone else around you, everything that is important to you right now is a temporary state of affairs that really has no significance in the greater universe. A few years of economic uncertainty is not going to affect that so you might as well pick yourself up, stop worrying, be nice to those around you and think of ways to get through it."

This is meant to make me feel better? I just feel fucking mortal and useless. Cheers book.

Have you ever not been able to sleep because of something on your mind?

Literally for the past 2 nights my sleep has been disturbed (a lot more last night, I must have awoke about 10 times), and the same thing was straight on my mind from the moment I woke up. There was no gradual change as my mind slowly came out of sleep. The thought was just there with me straight away and I couldn't shake it, not even for sleep it seemed. I fear that tonight will be the same, as the thought is something I cannot control at all. I can only wait until my mind wants to care about it less.

And that is not something I can see happening right now.

So sleep deprivation here I come.

srgkopj

something interesting

[ODD]

R/E
A/S
H/D
AS/S
R/S
L/L
F/J
P/M

Oh man I actually forgot;

D/E

How stupid of me.

For a time;

W/J

Was one but never really got into that one like the rest.

But yeah D/E should probably be after;

AS/S

Maybe even above it. Depending what mood I'm in.

And I've forgotten;

G/A

As well. That would normally go above R/S and below D/E. Though it's tricky.

[My Online Dream Diary]

I think my nephew looks just adorable in the Dad 'N Me mask. I should make him a full costume for Halloween or something then get my brother to play the game and be Dad. Never happen but it's nice to dream.

Feel free to read and comment about my dreams if you want. It's just that I seem to dream (or remember them anyway) every night and it helps if you're trying to practice lucid dreaming (something I feel I'll never be able to do) to write down your dreams almost as soon as you wake up. I haven't this first morning so details have already escaped me somewhat but from now on once I get to work (I get up early enough as it is, I can't afford an extra 5 minutes to write down dreams) I shall get online and 'jot' them down here.

Also I had this weird sensation the other night. I say sensation for lack of a better word really. I blame it to be ill as I recall having this before when I got flu during Christmas. I was laying in bed half sleeping I believe and then I felt something acidy or like bile shooting up my body. It came to my throat and stopped there. Then I couldn't breathe. Literally I gasped for air and it wouldn't come. I tried to swallow then breathe again and nothing. This went on about 5 times, me gasping until finally sweet oxygen began to fill my lungs. I've no idea why it happened and how the acidy bile was the cause. I asked my mother about it and she reckons it was indigestion, though I don't know how indigestion can cause you to stop breathing. I've had sleep apnea before but this was different and scarier. Oh well.

Also watch these please;

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
559975

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
559960

Anyway;

Dream Diary:

Night 1: 21/01/11

Most of mankind dead. Apocalypse type feeling. Mum and brother Carl are still alive, don't remember my other brother or dad being around. Electricity was still working and I'd turned to stealing/looting to providing for us seeing as most people were gone. I remember not feeling upset about this outcome. It was almost a pleasant dream for me.

Night 2: 22/01/11

Somewhat of a recurring dream which I never realised before now. It was to be with my inabilty to complete homework/coursework which was my downfall at college. In the dream I was attempting to catch a bus to school, that is really the main focus on the dream, even though I did mention not finishing my work and taking the uncompleted work with me with the intention to complete it on arrivial to school (which in the dream I never actually do) the point of this thread was all about catching the bus which in the dreams is something I seem to struggle at. Like I never give myself enough time or it's too early and just issues. Always a drama. Maybe that is to do with me not giving myself enough time in the mornings to get to work.

Night 3: 23/01/11

The details of this dream are slipping away fast. It felt so crystal clear at the time. There was a boat, some kind of crossing a river, a room of bugs, discussions with hot chocolate and having Draco Malfoy and his two goons as a kind of Three Stooges nememis - which was fun because we all like dreaming about our favourite fandom. I recall putting some little wooden duck craving on sale and it went for 2p and I wanted to sell it elsewhere where it was worth more.. less boring then it sounds. It was a nice dream actually, shame I won't remember it at all in a few hours.

Night 4: 24/01/11

No alarm wake this morning so even less memories of the dream, especially as I couldn't jump straight online. Hazy now. Some kind of family fight which makes sense considering the dramatic turn of my family in recent times. Oh well. Try again tomorrow.

Night 5: 25/01/11

More random events involving a party in a giant block of flats which evolved into a bit of chaos and from there I assumed the role of a boy walking down an old abandoned railway line. It was met to be abandoned though a train still came down one of the lines.. Anyway when the boy got to the end he found a little like shack or hut where some man lived. From the feeling I got in the dream he was someone in hiding due to being a pedophile killer. I'm sure it all ended well for the boy. I'm not sure as the dream changed then.

Night 6: 26/01/11

Towards the end of my sleep (I know this as I woke up a couple of times) I was dreaming about a different number of ways in which I could be late for work. Then when my alarm goes off and I attempt to drag myself out of bed, I move my leg in an awkward position (thanks to dog sleeping on the bed with me) and got the most horrible cramp which rendered me useless for about 10 minutes then when I did get up I was hobbling for another 10 minutes slowly around the house. Thus making me late for wake. Go figure.

Night 7: 27/01/11

Another party in this dream, thankfully I can remember more of it. It was fancy dress and like a dozen people came as Tron guys - well similiar to that anyway with lit up costumes. I myself went as a female tennis player - don't ask me why. And there were a mixed various of real people and fictional people there. Then after the party we were all round my aunts and for some reason needed to buy a bedsheet, so we went to this shop that did normal stuff like that and several of the guests must have been non-human or wixards or something because they were amazed by everything normal and 'Ohhhed' and 'Awwed' at a train set. Bizarre but enjoyable.

Night 8: 28/01/11

Dream involving work. Various weird things and such one involving a tomb that was supposed to be housing Hitlers dead body but it actually had some living evil guy who I released. And other stuff happened. idk.

Night 9: 29/01/11

Something involving bugs at a family get together of sorts that went wrong (of course)

Night 10: 30/01/11

Another back to school type dream. Again I was failing to do the work set to me. I was somewhat happy about this dream though as it featured the hottest teacher we had at my old school Mr Brown - he's fucking gorgeous and had peers from school that I miss somewhat. For some reason I recall the school being in French and a lot of travelling through an airport. A blimp was also present for some reason.

Night 11: 31/01/11

Really interesting dream. I even dreamt about Chelseas signing Torres, which is nice to know that I can dream about things I've focused on in the day. Everytime I used to hope that it would never seem so. In the dream dad was being secretive, family were acting strange and everyone was questioning Torres ability. Plus a mad bus ride with a Liverpool fan and the bus like flew over the city.

Night 12: 01/02/11

Second night in a row where I've dreamt about something that I've thought about in the day. Well, I finally got round to watching the first episode of The Walking Dead, and what did my dream feature last night? A fucking zombie apocalypse. Brilliant. I should watch an evening of porn and see if I have a sexy dream tonight. Nah. Also, I was annoyed when I woke up because one part of the dream included receiving a free Wii and 2 X-Box 360s which my dream self was going to sell :(

Night 13: 02/02/11

Remembered less as I allowed myself to sleep on for a bit after turning off my alarm this morning. It did involve footballers again and transfers. Lets hope tonight involves a sexy dream with Torres in his Chelsea kit. Yes please.

Night 14: 03/02/11

Last night I watched a show called marchlands. It's not really scary but it does have a spirit/ghost vibe to it. Saying that the only spooky part was when this woman tried to turn on a washing machine and the sink turned on instead, or when the kitty drowned. HOWEVER, after watching this one hour of mild tv, I had to have a fucking scary dream about it didn't it. And the ghostly character in the show (Alice) turned up in my dream. Only in my dream she was a lot scarier because she appeared and did horrible things and scared us all. The dream ended with me offering a hand job to the owner of the hand. Oh dear. I woke up briefly. Which led me to;

Night 14 and a half: 03/02/11

Once I got back to sleep I kind of continued the spooky dreamness but there were more 'ghosts' now and somehow I was a witch as I had a mother fucking wand and some of the cast of Harry Potter were present. It was actually alright, near the end I was waving my wave madly at one of the spirits until he stopped. They seemed to be normal pople who just somehow got 'taken over'. Torres was also in my dream again. He's a major crush factor now.

Mentioned it before but I do love dreaming. It's intriguing really, no matter how nasty the dream in question is, I still always am glad to remember the dreams.

I've noticed though that I don't have any recurring dreams, they are all new to me every night. There is however one theme in my dreams that keeps cropping up every now and then and that is;

Hamsters.

Sometimes in my dreams I will just like pull out a hamster cage and in my dream the hamsters have been alive for years and I have to feed them and clean the cage as I forgot about them.

I don't find this too weird. Like most kids I had hamsters as pets back when I was younger. Its not too often though that I dream about my old pets, even my beloved dog now I rarely dream about. I assume the whole having to feed them and cleaning the cage thing is down to my own guilty memory of when I had a hamster called Chelsea that I 'inherited' off my bed. I looked after her fine for that year or two, then I got my little puppy and I stopped caring so much about the hamster. I still fed her, cleaned the cage but I stopped feeling bothered about her. And when she died and I noticed I felt guilty that she might have been dead in her cage for a day or so before I even bothered to look.

I believe that is where the neglect thing in the dream comes from.

As for the hamsters themselves, which are always different so don't seem to resemble any of my past pets - like I've never stopped in the dream and thought of them ever being my old pets. They're just hamsters who are pets in my dreams but were not pets in my real life. If that makes sense.

Anyway, I love my Dream app. I know these little dream analysis aren't exactly gospel truths but I find the idea of interpreting dreams interesting none the less. So I search for the reasoning behind hamster dreams and I get;

"To see a hamster in your dream represents underdeveloped emotions. You are distancing yourself from others so that you won't end up getting hurt. It may also indicate that issues of sexuality are trivial to you. You are able to separate sex and love."

I KNOW that half of these descriptions for dreams are negative or about homoerotic sex somehow but this just seems spot on for me.

THOUGHTS/QUESTIONS/DREAMS YOU WANT 'ANALYSIED'?

I go on there to read about one thing and before I know it I have like 20 fucking tabs open for different tropes, not including the videos I will stop to view. The site consumes me more then Newgrounds does I think.

Lets how how it happened;

Originally looked up;

Uncharted

From here I opened;

Mooks
- Mooks led me to What Measure Is A Mook , Mook Chivalry, Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy, Attack Attack Attack, Adorable Evil Minions, Red Shirt & One Hundred And Eight
- One Hundred And Eight led me to Suikoden
- Suikoden led me to Bodyguard Crush, Ensemble Darkhorse, Child By Rape and Estrogen Brigade Bait.
VideoGameMoviesSuck
Absurdly Spacious Sewer
Acrofatic
Action Survivor
Adventurer Archaeologist
Almost Kiss
- From Almost Kiss, I also opened Moment Killer, LuminescentBlush & Will They Won't They
- Moment Killer led to Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon

Somehow I also have open Xanatos Gambit and British Newspapers.

The only tropes I've finished reading so far today are;

Arson Murder And Jaywalking
Does Not Understand Sarcasm
Intrepid Reporter
Norminal Importance
Slap slap Kiss
The Chessmaster

And I'm barely out of the A's with Uncharted. The only reason Mooks is open is because it was mentioned near the top in the description about Uncharted.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about then you're lucky. Though it actually is a great site for saddos like me.

And reminded me of one of my favourite Simpsons quotes;

*doorbell*
Homer: Who is it?
Man: Goons
Homer: Who?
Man: Hired Goons
Homer: *confused* Hired goons?

Classic.

I'm sure there are probably threads somewhere about favourite gaming moments, in fact I rather recall a popular one in the Video Games forum, I just have no desire to post there however.

I just wanted to share here with anyone foolish enough to be on my page.

Hope you had a Merry Christmas and that your New Years celebration will be joyful. I'm still recovering for a nasty chest infection at the moment, which wasn't fun on Christmas day but hey ho, that is my life.

So yes, please enjoy the subtle pedophile reference as much as I do.

So I just received a nice little suprise in the post in the form of a Behemoth squeezy chicken, which I actually wanted to buy before they sold out, even if this little fella sadly lost its tail which is being held on with sticky tape.

With the chicken was a little postcard from Luis thanking me for my continued sponsoring of NG goods.

I'm sure the decision to send it to me actually went like this;

Random NG employee number 1: Oh this chicken is broken, see the tail came off.
Random NG employee number 2: Well we can't sell that one now.
Random NG employee number 3: Just send it to one of the bigger losers who keeps buying our dumb shit and get back to working on the NG chat.
Random NG employee number 2: Yeah, then they will think it's a really nice thing for us to do and keep buying our dumb shit.
Random NG employee number 1: Haha, ok.

But that's ok because I will keep buying the dumb shit here.

Merry Christmas

<3