I need mood elevators.

And to look in the mirror each other and say 5 things I like about myself.

Challenge.

So in some thread Poozy mentioned having banned people from his iphone when he's been receiving head. Ever curious, I asked him to ban me the next time he got some, just so I could lol really.

It's also good to know that at some point while Poozy was having his dick sucked, he thought about me ;) and remembered to fulfil my wish.

That's hot.

This chair makes my mouth drool.

Beautifully called 'Villian Chair' this just reaks of awesome. All you need to complete the evil villian look is a white persian cat (and of course the £4500/$7300 to pay for the chair in the first place).

One day my sweet.

One day..

I was browsing for a new backpack. I haven't had one in years and I realised that one would better suit me for work now. I came across this delight and the nerd in me smiled deeply.

Too much?

I enjoy a bit of classical music on the quiet and lately I've really been enjoying The Blue Danube. I don't think I've heard a more inspiring piece of music in my lifetime and nothing else makes me want to dance more. And when I say dance I mean wear one of those massive Victorian ball gowns and waltz around a luscious ball room all evening. Literally waltz, and curtsey. Can't forget the curtsey-ing.

Not only that though, I think it has the most beautiful opening of any piece of music I've heard.

The first minute of music to me is what a sunrise would sound like if turned to music. It's uplifting, it's warm and just beautiful really. it starts slow then there is this burst of sound which to me is the light hitting the horizon. Magic.

Just listen for one minute and see if you agree, or whether you think there is another piece of music out there that sounds like a sunrise. That sounds as wonderful.

Now excuse me, I need to go dance around my room.

Oh wait, nevermind..

Also @ Victory;

Nice crashing out of the Europa League. Least now your lot can concentrate on the all important task of getting back into the Europa for next year.

Two perfectly different and awesome examples why;

Messi, the Messiah doing what he does best - brilliance.

Even if you don't like football/soccer you should watch this clip anyway. The sound effects alone make it a worthy replay.

That's what I call a good 'tackle'.

What do you honestly think about me?

Don't worry about offending me. This isn't something I'm going to take serious, well or in a sensitive manner I should say. Just after you spend so long on a website and get to know people, I guess you wonder how they feel about you, and whether all the time you've spent on here has meant something to someone else, even for the briefest of moments. Or if they really do just hate you :(

So please elighten me.

And we're just chatting generally as I make the things for him and he says to me;

"We're best friends"

I literally felt like crying right there. Of course he likes me because I buy him nice toys and have many gizmos in my room which he loves to try and destroy (much to my displeasure), but to hear that and realise the love he has for me back was one of the most amazing feelings I've had in a long time.

I forget how special children can be.

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."

-Mark Twain

Can someone help me please to believe in this quote. To take some strength from it. Because I keep panicking, in the dead of night, when it's dark and I'm alone with my thoughts. I keep thinking about something billions of years away that obviously me (having died billions of years before it) have no control over.

I just cannot stop being afraid of the end of the universe. Of the end of all life. The thought of pure nothingess. My head can't even get around that concept somehow but it still scares me.

I've mentioned this fear many times before but my panic attacks over it are getting worse. I just cannot help feel scared and useless. I put it down to not believing in an afterlife. I truly believe when we die it's the end, which is scary enough, but thinking about everything ever being gone too is more than my little human mind can handle.

If anyone can help me cope with this thought somehow, then please. Because I can't anymore.