Took long enough. Silly international posting.

So yeah this is one of the original $10 ones. Probably be another week and a half before I get my second. Certainly not as exciting as other boxes but I'm quite content really. Plus I'm not expecting anything big and awesome as it'll cost them too much to send it to me here. Cheapskates.

Anyway the list;

- One Tankmen Parachute Shirt (Right size)
- One Uterus 'I Love Guts' plush. Not sure if sending me a uterus one was intentional but I liked it all the same. It's quite cute.. For a uterus
- NG Posters Girl, which has some stunning artwork
- Snow Snow For Lucy DVD (Of course)
(Now the weird(er) stuff)
- Granpa Simpsons chess piece
- Army man figure
- Dinosaurs Attack gum and cards from like 1977 (Not sure what to do with that)
- A Sick Animation button
- Small tank patch + a few stickers + postcard

So yeah not the best but I'm happy. I got a plush out of it which is super ^_^ No photo which is :(

Anyway, my next blog will be with the contents of my second box then after that I will most likely be making a blog offering my spare pink knight to someone. So if you're intereted in that just keep an eye out. I'm no Luis, but I need to de-clutter really - I hoard items and I really have too much stuff, so I fancy doing the nice thing in giving some NG related stuff away. Certainly the knight and a few plush I have. So yeah, come back in a few weeks if you want the chance to recieve that.

eofigjeiuruhjieuthgiurehgirughsruhi

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I just got this feeling deep inside of me
So groove me baby

I've decided that I focus too much on bad stuff (no shit right) so I thought to try and get myself out of this slump, I would make a list of things in my life which I consider good. Even if the negative part of my brain tells me that such a list would be dull to others. BUT I DIGRESS;

1. Work

- I get to sit online during work hours. It doesn't affect my job output at all, so I take great comfort in sitting here right now typing away and earning for it.

I'm the best one here at my job. Ok, sure it's a small office where there are 6 of us who all seem to work around the clock, but I take some pride in knowing that even when I'm casually browsing the internet at work.

I'm still the best one here. I live close to work now which gives me a nice walk to and from work (no need for public transport), and while it's a pain to get up at 4.15am most mornings I do find something peaceful about being able to walk down to the office when the sky is dark, when the streets are empty, when the roads are quiet. It's a nice start to the day for me.

2. Family

- When I ordered my PC at the end of last year I didn't have the exact amount of funds in my bank account to pay for it. I asked my folks if they would mind me ordering the PC on their debit card and I would pay them the moment I got my next paycheck. They agreed, then when it came down to paying them back, my mum said that it was fine and that it would be a gift to me from them, saving myself like £500 and was just very awesome of them.

My nephew Oliver, who I get to see in 4 and a half hours. I never understood why children can be so amazing as I was growing up. Like most people I didn't see the joy of children until someone I am close to had one. And Oliver IS amazing. Considering that his folks are two of the most angry people you might meet (my brother Carl has 'heart attack at 40' written all over his face), Oliver is just so placid. Not in a worrying way or anything. He just enjoys being a happy little boy. Never moans or demands stuff. He's just so sweet. the most demanding thing he does as a 3 year old is when you give him one biscuit he says "I have twooooo?" and puts his index fingers together as though to illustrate his want, which is just cute anyway. I love him so much, and he has enriched my life completely.

Despite the annoyances of my brothers, I tend to think we have a great relationship. Sure I usually end up acting like a mother to them but I do it out of love for them. They take the piss when they need money, or a babysitter or someone to fix something wrong with their computers but I know if I need them they would help me out in a heartbeat. Sure, they will always be closer but then they are brothers, and only apart by one and a half years, so they grew up even closer. I guess I begrudge that connection a little but what we three have together is still good.

My dog Frankie, who I do consider family. I got her at a point in my life when I was really down (NOTHING UNUSUAL I KNOW) but her companionship over the years has been a great help to me. Even when it's 2am in the morning and I wake up with my leg draggling off the bed and my hip in a weird angle painfully while my dog lays stretched across my bed in peaceful bliss I cannot be angry at her. I dread how much I will miss her when she is gone, but for now I feel privileged to have such a wonderful pet.

Despite the recent childish and pathetic antics of my parents, I do still love them a lot. I've idolised my father over the years and while I know now that he isn't as perfect as I once thought as a child I do still appreicate him in my life so very much. My mother and I have always had somewhat of a inflicted relationship. Regardless I do love her a lot.

3. Friends

- I don't do this subject very well. Every friendship I've had in recent years irl I seem to have killed due to my own want to. It's hard for people to keep in contact with me when I practically blank them. I find it easy to forge friendships but I struggle to keep them as I seem to lack all desire to. So I want to thank Oliver (no not my nephew) for his constant friendship over the last 4 or so years.I've said it before and I'll say it again, I really don't deserve to have you in my life. No one makes me laugh quite as hard or makes me think quite as much or even makes me feel as much. I want you to be the very best you can be because you deserve that so much and you have dreams and goals that are begging to come to light. I cherish how important you make me feel even if I find it undeserving at the same time, and I feel overwhelmed when we talk sometimes as I think you're a much better talker than I am. I feel unworthy while I sit there and laugh at your jokes and have nothing to offer in return. You're the best friend a girl could have and I know that and I appreciate that and I thank you.

4. You

- If you've read all of this and found yourself not completely bored to tears then I thank you too.

1. Work

- Snotty customers, drunk customers, foreign customers who speak terrible broken English, eldery customers who are half deaf and whos gums I can hear smacking together as they talk. My boss, my bosses wife. The horrible shrill noise of the telephone ringing. Drivers who come in and just annoy me by talking about rubbish.

2. Family

- When my mum sneezes about ten times in quick succession in disgusting fashion. When my mum drinks heavily. When my brothers are selfish and don't realise it. When my dad drinks. When my brother Carl gambles. When both of my brothers 'borrow' money off of me. When it's painfully clear that my mum loves my brothers more than me.

3. Myself

- Everything

Yesterday my brother announced (though not really announced as it's very early days) that his girlfriend was pregnant. This was a bit of a revelation in itself as his girlfriend has had a lot a lot of health issues and complications in her life, some which are still present and one point a year or so ago, doctors were talking about the fact that she might never be able to have children at all. It's hard for men to sometimes grasp what that can mean to a woman. It is strangely true about the old biological clock business with most women and my boyfriends girlfriend is none different. She wants to have kids and her recurring health problems had severely slowed down her plans for this (she is just 30 now).

I don't think they were officially trying to have a baby. I guess they forwent contraception because her chances were slim anyway of becoming pregnant and if it did happen then it would be a bit of a positive for them both.

My brother wants to be a dad, and he would make a good one. He's one of those guys who always remarkably wanted to settle down and have a family. I guess at 27 it's a good time to be getting on with that. I was talking to him yesterday about it, and he was stressing the fact that it's very early still. Neither of them want to get their hopes up at all, which is why his 'announcing' of the news was more a 'telling' of the news and he was a bit dubious as our mum got a little excited.

I said to him through; "Dan, how's it going to feel? If everything goes well, and you'll be a dad?"

And he just looked at me and smiled the most genuine smile I ever saw, before saying softly "Yeah, it'll be great"

My heart felt like breaking right there for my brother.

He then says to me; "And you'll be auntie Leanne." Which kind of goes without saying as I am already an aunt to my other brothers son who I'm sure you've all heard me mention time and time again. Dan smiled a little sheepishly obviously realising that yes we both already were uncle and auntie to Oliver, but for some reason this felt different, much different to the time my other brother Carl announced that his then girlfriend (now wife) was pregnant. I can't explain it, maybe because Dan is the eldest brother and maybe because I always imagined him as a good father, maybe something else I've forgotten, but this moment felt stronger.

I can't recall wanting something so badly for another person before, but I do. Maybe it's selfish somewhere along the lines but as I went to bed yesterday night, I actually felt like praying, even felt like offering my soul to some unknown spirit out there just to make sure everything goes well. I am hoping so hard for them both, because they deserve it and they would make a wonderful family. I'd sacrifice my own self in the hope that they get their baby and the joy that comes with that.

I'm jumping the gun already, perhaps more than my parents or even my brother is but I just want it to work out so badly. I want my brother to be a dad and my happiness be doomed, I want him to be happy with his new family.

Of course I'm most likely just hoping too much for something that might not last. I'm not sure of the complete depth of Alisons health but it is likely enough that something will go wrong. I just pray that it doesn't.

Anyone want to buy a soul?

Also brb

Football season starting again soon - cannot wait.

Because of this I felt like posting a picture that of some blue roses. Sure they're only dyed but blue roses do look fucking gorgeous. So yeah blue is the colour of my favourite football team so it's why I enjoy the roses so much. Plus blue is just a neat colour.

Cheer on Chelsea this season guys ok :]

Also London was fucking awesome. So glad I went on the friday night. I should have done the saturday too now looking back but maybe next year. I'm just sorry that I suck so much at singing, but fuck me do I love some karoke.

Met so many awesome people. It really is incredible when you stop and think about how much of a good community this site actually has, and just so grateful to Luis for ensuring that we all do get together every year or so (not just UK) and keeping us friendly. I can't quite put it into words, but yeah it's quite an amazing feat.

I would list everyone I met who was simply awesome but it would be a damn long list and I would forget a few still. Every person I spoke to though was great and chatty and just having a good time, which is what it was all about.

Can't wait for next year already :(

Is strolling to work at 4.45am just enjoying the peace with a bit of music while appreciating the beautiful sky above me.

Pictures do not do it justice.

Nature is simply uplifting.

Seriously I've always hated doing these and there is a job I'm dying to get and I need to send them a CV of course but I just can't seem to start it, and the templates online are terrible.

What do I need to put in them? I know like grades and work experience but do I like make a summary on why I should get the job and stuff?

Please help :(

So I was at work the other night doing nothing as usual and chatting with the girl I work with Sam, a couple of years younger than me and all of a sudden, she just smiles at me and says;

"I think you're really cool."

Obviously I burst out laughing at the statement as I can't recall ever being referred to as 'cool' irl. I then frowned and asked how and she continued to say that I was smart and had a great outlook to life and shit.

I'm not sure why I'm sharing this but it just kept a smile on my face for the rest of the evening. It's nice to know that you're not a total fuck up sometimes, or at least you can hide that fact well enough that people actually think you're awesome.