I've lost 5 pounds this week. And if you're a fellow Brit no that isn't a money joke.

Not doing anything stupid either. I'm just eating sensibly and exercising more regularly. My mood has generally improved as well. I don't feel so tired and moody. I feel pretty good at this moment and I hope to continue this. Though I know I won't lose that kind of weight each week. I have an incentive to though and while I have a long old battle ahead of me, it's the first time I've felt like I can actually do something about it. Properly.

Wish me luck or wish me failure or wish me nothing :(

He has no money to get home but where he lives is perfectly walkable, especially when you're as drunk as he appears to be. The walk would do him good.

I think he assumes that being a female I will fold to the sobbing act but its just a little pitiful really. Now I'm not sure what to do (besides writing about it of course), because he won't leave the area outside our office. Didn't look the type to go schizo, but you never quite know do you? And its dark still and I'm on my own in here. Seems a weedy guy but still a little weirded out right now.

Which means I'm coherent enough to be able to spot my mistakes which I'm taking extra care with. I'm not drunk enough that I'll have a stinking hangover and I feel rather merry which is delightful. God and food just taste heavenly at the moment. 2 slices of toast with some pate and it taste swondrous soaking up that alcohol. Good time to be home and prepare myself for tomorrow.

For I have a job interview, which I'm rather nervous about but I hope it goes well. My last one did but I had to turn it down as where they needed me to work was too far, but oh well. If this works out it'll be one of my long term goals fixed. And if not then at least I'll have tried.

My buzz will be gone by tomorrow but hopefully my improved spirit won't be. In fact it is a wonder what 24 hours can do really. Life feels better this afternoon, which yes may be the booze but I also had a good time and I'm trying something new on Tuesday too which could be the start of something good.

I feel good and whoever you are, whatever your reason for reading this, I hope you feel good too.

Like death I just can't seem to escape it. It's wearing me down all the time too. Every moment I feel on the verge of tears or an angry outburst coming. I feel stress on my skin, in every nook of my body I feel discomfort.

I don't even know why I'm mentioning it really. Probably because I have no one in real life to talk to and I need to get shit out sometimes, all the time. Which is why I post so much, because that is my way of socialising with people.

You can choice to laugh at me if you wish to, I don't mind or care really. I'm more than used to it after all. Seeing as my whole laugh has been a joke, or rather an unamusing account of calamities.

I don't know. I'm just tying nonsense. As per usual.

I'm sorry. I have like a dozen I've not responded to in the last week and I want people here to know that it isn't because I find myself above conversing back to you or something rude, I'm just terribly lazy and sometimes, most of the time I don't seem to have the energy to keep up with messages and I know how incredibly stupid that sounds. I intend to reply to my recent ones, especially those lovely people who sent me nice PMs after that "Send people a nice PM" topic.

Just please know I appreciate you bothering to talk to me at all.

Playing and winning at night in the rain at Stamford Bridge turns me on greatly.

Merry Christmas Newgrounds.

May your holiday season be full of happiness, joy and love. For now and for many years to come.

x

P.S Best Christmas song ever.

imo

My bosses husband killed himself yesterday. It's fucking crazy.

Sam, my boss is great. Her life has always been all over the place and shes made a lot of mistakes. She recently started an affair and was tempted to leave her husband Jim, despite having young kids with him still.

She told Jim about her affair a few weeks or months ago, because, well she likes sex and Jim had diabetics, and that has led to erectile dysfunction for him. I can't imagine any man could except that his wife is getting her sexual needs for another man. But he stuck with it. Then Sam fucked up and fell in love with the guy she was screwing. So she told Jim properly that she was going to leave him. Obviously he took it badly and went awol for a while then a friend found him dead in a hotel room the next day.

I know Sam fucked up quite badly but damn, I can't get my head around a man doing that to his children. Two of Sams children aren't Jims but he raised them as if they were, and the other two? Well the boy is 11 and the little girl is 5. The other boy is 7 and believes Jim is his father. I have no idea if or how she has told them that their father killed himself because she was having an affair. And 3 weeks before Christmas too, when they were so looking forward to it. God, I just can't get my head around that.

And while Sam isn't the victim here, her mother killed herself when Sam was a teen. She had a hard time coping with that and never truly recovered from it. So I can't even imagine what she is going through with this and her kids. Plus the fact that she is bipolar.. I worry for her safety right now actually.

Just madness.

Oliver and Winston Churchill.