Addict 2010-11-21 04:21:25

IF you grew a mustache you would look like John Holmes.

Boss 2010-11-21 04:23:43

good luck

Vandal2 2010-11-21 05:31:35

You should try some extreme sports.

Mechabloby 2010-11-21 06:04:24

In reply to your previous comment: pugs are stubborn shits. I love our pug, but, yeah, it is frustrating when he doesn't obey commands. It's widely considered that pugs are stupid dogs, I think, so we shouldn't be too surprised.

To reply to this blog post: the first few paragraphs, I can relate to so well - on weekdays, I can't sleep and on weekends I don't see the point in waking up. In my group of "friends" - that being emphasised as we're falling apart - I'm most likely the one to be ignored. If I ask something, it's easily shrugged off. I've become way too stressed and easily agitated in recent days too.

I don't have the issues with family that you're experiencing though - I'd be agitated if my brother asked me for money and wasn't willing to pay back. He may be my brother, but if he doesn't pay back the cash, he would get a simple "fuck off" from me. If I was in the same situation as you, I'd try searching for my own place.

I know you're worried about seeming selfish, but in all honesty, you're the least selfish person I know - you seem always willing to help out others instead of yourself and I think you should put your foot down from time to time. If it's becoming too much of a strain, I think you need to step back a bit. I know how it feels trying to explain to people that just won't listen that they're in the wrong, or if they have a problem - some people are just, no offence, quite stubborn in realising when they're having a negative impact on others.

I'm sorry for suffocating you, by the way, with my constant PM sending; replying to blog posts; asking if you're willing for a chat on MSN; etc - I've only been trying to keep our friendship together when I've felt that we've become too distant. Maybe people are right when they say you shouldn't bother with online socialising. You deserve some relaxation time to yourself anyway, Leanne. I'm sorry for being such a bother. I hope you can eventually read and reply to my PM about my current situation, but if not, that's okay too. I know if I said sorry as often as I could - so then I'd feel more at ease with myself - it probably wouldn't heal damages I may have caused with being such a dick.

5ERGEI 2010-11-21 07:55:07

I never really realized just how depressing that prayer is.
Isn't it a little pessimistic that you'd take precautions "just in case" you die in your sleep? haha

Dean 2010-11-21 10:12:53

I'm sorry to hear it Gagsy. I feel somewhat ignorant after sharing some of my 'problems' with certain people now.

I felt saddened reading this because although I wouldn't say I've spoken to you a huge amount, it has still been enough for me to see that you're a pretty awesome person who I have come to like, aside from the abuse you give me (but we can let that slide, for now).

I don't really know what to tell you, other than I hope things somehow workout for you and your family. It's no consolation, but you just have to think to yourself that everyone has their problems. Life is unfair, but you just have to soldier through and do what you can to make the most of what you have been given.

I'd also like to apologise for the last couple PMs. I was just trying to make an effort in keeping in contact with you, but if I had realised you'd been busy with all this I'd have let you be. Sorry.

alphaswitch 2010-11-22 05:13:23

its funny because you're melodramatic

Senmetsu 2010-11-22 06:19:16

I read your entire post word for word.

I put myself in your shoes...

I feel pretty thankful for my own shoes back...

I'm very sorry Gagsy. If there's ever anything I can do, I'm just a PM away. Even if its just place to scream or rant or flood with .................................'s I'm here.

-Rahv

killerjeff 2010-11-23 06:30:52

;^;

Victory 2010-11-23 15:22:18

cheer up

Prome 2010-11-23 15:29:27

Quote fail @ Loss cause coming through.

Gobblemeister 2010-11-23 20:17:06

You know, I read a little novel called the Awakening about someone in a similar situation. Not so much the actual situation but the implications of it. A young woman trapped by the life allotted to her and unable to escape.

In the end it really said something to me, the tenacity to fulfill yourself. I guess the only thing I can say is what I derived from this story. That in the end you will have to be selfish, you will have to hurt others to satisfy yourself. Why? Because this life you are living now threatens to suffocate you. If you don't decide to live for you, one of these days you will grow to resent the things that have held you back.

In the Awakening, it was her children and loving husband, for you it's the various people you feel almost responsible for. You, quite honestly, need to live for yourself and not others, regardless of how selfish that sounds. It might hurt these people, most likely it will, but this is your happiness. Everyone is out for their own happiness in the end, but one day, if it hasn't already happened. serving the interests of others won't satisfy you.

You can do what you will with what I am saying, I just want you to have this perspective before your circumstances suffocate you.