So I just had a werid dream, one that makes me think.

It was quite a long one, started off at one scenario then moved on, for once I remained the same person though, started with some kids getting into our house and my parents letting them come back, then I was babysitting my nephew, after he fell asleep the dreams progressed.

I attended this show with a lot of people I knew from various places plus people I didn't know to make up numbers I guess. Anyway the show started, the crowd (us) all young were excited and jumping about. So the host comes on, some grey-haired suited man and he starts talking about the shows story tonight or something.

Anyway, he points to this girl and she jumps about waving and then he reads out her story or something (I can't remember names now, I'm just getting this dream down before it all slipped from my mind) - Well this girl is in love with her best friend, has been for a while but her best friend has only even been in love with ME.

So once the host mentioned this they get the spotlights on us three, at this point she's next to her best friend. (and maybe symbolically I was on another stand not with them and my stand was lower down). So the best friend, the guy is like shocked, and the hosts asks him if it's true that he loves me, he says yes, and then they ask me if I knew this, I said yes, and then asked if I turned him down, I said yes.

So my part was played and the crowd are all cheering at them now. I didn't return his feelings so maybe he could returns hers. The show ended with the guy still confused. I remember feeling uneasy in the dream, like when it's dark and you're going down the stairs and you forget there is a last step and for that second it feels like you're falling just before your foot hits the floor.

So anyway, dream is still going on, suddenly I'm at work, but working from home, various dream stuff happens then all of a sudden the guy comes to the window with his mate and they want a taxi, I say ok, sort it out, then I ask him if he's going to give it a try a relationship with her - He smiled a genuine happy smile and said yes. It's funny how a dream with people you don't know can make you feel so empty.

At that point I think my dream self was going to attempt to change the past (Heroes style) because I wanted to be with him now. I woke up before long though, glad I did - People were onto me.

So yeah when I woke up, I knew what it what about, like some beacon had just been switched on in my mind.

It was about how I don't take people seriously when they like me, how I brush off their attraction as a joke or laugh simply because I don't like me, and then realising how bad I feel to know when they go on and get someone else - The old, 'That could have been me' deal. Perhaps when and if someone likes me again, I should listen to them, believe them, not just automatically turn them down, like I have always seem to do. Because it's very fucking lonely when that happens, and I'm amazed that the dream had gotten those feelings out of me, obviously this problem was buried deep in the mind somewhere, just waiting to be analyzed.

The problem is though; Can I believe them? What can someone else like about you if you can't find a single thing about yourself to like?