You're pretty depressing :\

Wow...I feel somewhat the same way.

Than*

some people vary in their need to connect with other people. whether it be a selectivity, fear of rejection, or just an ability to substantiate their own lives on their own merit. a lot of these people are horrifically brilliant and progressive people, think artistic recluses like salinger. this being said, it is human to need SOME interaction with others. you can't be left to your own devices. it will drive you mad. your own thoughts, alone with no outside one's to tether them to, will spin out of control.

there has to be some people out there that share a similar life outlook as you; you should befriend them. not desperately searching for a connection just to be connected, but do the things you would normally want to do. go to concerts or the library or whatever it is that floats your proverbial boat, and if you see someone of interest try your best to at least not hate them before you meet them. you're well liked enough through the idea/personality heavy medium of the internet. i'm sure you could find people you respect and want to hang out with in real life, to substitute for the people you pretend to hang out with now in order to feel "normal".

by the way, i got banned today and i'm killing time on your personal page. isn't that a hoot?

well, i'm a very self important person. thus making the ban comment. but i've felt the way you're feeling before too. i think my problems were more derived from substance abuse and more a sense of distrust, but it's a lonely lonely place. and although my advice was somewhat generic and obvious, sometimes hearing/reading the obvious is helpful.

Alright time for serious mode D:

I care about you a lot Gagsy. Seriously. And in a serious tone, get off the computer for a while. Like a day or a week. See how much different it is when you aren't smack in front of a bright screen talking to people you can basically say anything to. You'll find someone, I bet. Everyone always does.

Yeah, I find myself agreeing with a lot of this. I get along with people really easy, but I seem to tense up when some sort of conflict comes up, whether physical or vocal, I just don't know what to do and I just go quiet. But I've got a few good friends I can talk with, as well as a few work colleagues that I get along with really well. I think it's that I make too big a deal about little things, I mean, a hug is just a hug and an argument can quickly blow over. I guess I'm just conditioned into being the nice/funny/light-hearted guy, when really, I couldn't care less about what others think about me. But it's not like I'm not trying to genuinely interact with people, I guess my job has conditioned me to a point where I automatically spew forth idle chatter without thinking any significance of it, so that anything that isn't idle chatter is different, it's actually meaningful to me. Blah, my mindless job...

You're attempting to connect with the wrong people. I'm not big on lots of other people either (I have exactly three people I consider "friends"). Instead of faking it, just be you all the time, and the right people will just stick naturally.

When I spend time with my girlfriend, it feels like I'm just with another version or part of myself. It's so natural that I don't even think about the interaction at all. THAT is the person that you'd want to develop an intimate relationship with.

So I guess my advice is to be picky and unapologetic. I used to feel like you, like I was alone in a group of people who were together, until eventually I just started saying and doing whatever I felt like in social situations without regard for what other people thought. People who didn't like it (i.e. people I wouldn't enjoy hanging out with) gravitated away from me, and the few who were worth spending my time with gravitated towards. Don't worry about trying to find friends, just be authentically you and the friends will make themselves.

I understand where your coming from. For a long time everything felt generic, I would get up, go to work, get off work, go to sleep routine everyday. Friends seemed to be an afterthought and I could go weeks without speaking to one and not feel as if I missed out on a thing. Girlfriends were interchangeable, Entertainment was an all the same and my life was basicly an replay for about two years. What I came to realize was I was forcing myself someone I didn't want to be. I put on different faces for different people. I was doing a job I didn't like because I didn't think I could do what I really wanted to and fell into a funk of thinking this is what my life is going to be like. I took a hurricane to snap me out of it and realize that I didn't want to live that way and I've found that the military for me is great, I love the job I do, the camaraderie is amazing, everyday is different and the people I meet and places I go is something I never imagined I would do. Obviously the military may not be for you, but what I'm saying is there is an underlying reason (mine was complacency) and only you can change yourself. Or maybe I missed the point completely.

Hello. Been a while eh?
I honestly don't know what to suggest about your sitauation......What ever makes you happy i guess.

im the same way, because people are shit, society is shit, THE WORLD IS SHIT

Well because maybe you grew up in isolation?

Maybe as a baby you were left alone most of the day and only saw your parents for like an hour or so, so you learned how to feign happiness and also learned how to, and eventually got attached to enjoying yourself in isolation.

FUCK YOU

I suck at keeping in tough with irl friends too. When I do push myself to hang out with them a few times, I feel the strong need to be alone for a while. Then I cut off all contact. It probably makes no sense to them, but I really feel like I need to drop off the face of the Earth sometimes.

Then I feel bad for doing it, but that kind of makes me want to avoid contact even more.

I prefer chilling with my bird than having to be around humans. :(

HATRED! ANGER! RAGE!
I kidnap avril lavigne and tie her to my mattress.
My Knife goes inside of her pussy.
I Rip the entrails from her%uFEFF Cunt.
I yank out her intestines.
Her blood wet internally bleeding vagina floods the ground.
I continue to cut her from the inside,
ripping apart her clitoris.
then i stab her heart until she dies.
I continue to fuck her bloody cunt with my knife.
I slit her throat and cut her down and then i rip out her
mutilated cunt.
She lost her virginity to my knife.

Sea slugs are scum sucking invertebrae. Land slugs are slimy mollusc-brained cabbage eaters. But you are nothing. You are the human equivalent of a broken lava-lamp. Repulsive, doesn't work, 30 years behind the times, and full of oily slime. Your breathtaking arrogance is only matched by your uncanny ability to be utterly clueless as to what other people think about you. And make no mistake, they think about you. Constantly. Your actions are as opportunistic and as repulsive as maggots. Your disgusting loathsome habits clearly know no bounds. Your mere existence has for me offered proof there is no God, no hope, no justice and the most miserable future for humankind. I have seen you walking along a footpath, one of your horribly fascinating activities. You count the cement squares don't you. You even on occasion try and avoid standing on the cracks. How can someone so stupid still remember to breathe? Or are you an automaton sent by an evil foreign, or alien, power, to destroy civilisation as we know it? All this, perhaps, would not be so damningly despairing were it not for the fact that I know what you do after you have picked your nose. Perhaps the less said the better, as other people, who still might have hope, could someday read this inadvertently. You snot-snivelled slimed sluptitious stool. Do you not have any reckoning of the ugliness you have wrought on the world? I have seen more convivial things than you wrapped up in newspaper in overfull bins at the fishmarkets. I have tried, but clearly, I have failed. I must stand firm to the realisation that mere words cannot express my utmost and profound contempt and loathing for your person, your being and your existence. You are a blight against nature. This is something that I have grown to despise quite malevolently. Your bigoted words, and your damnable actions make me sick to my stomach. I find it comedic that you are spouting this crap here, and I find it sickening that younger children might see this... There is a good saying that I am thinking of, "If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything at all!" Otherwise, I rather felt like that I needed to put in my two cents here. Oh, and I find it funny that you comeback with very crappy insults. You sir are a stupid dumbshit who doesn't deserve a dick. Unless you are a girl then you don't desrve your pussy. Please go replace your pancreas with a bowling ball and skydive into into man-eating animal infested waters wherin you survive without a dick without a sphincter without an ear or even your nutsack or thread a needle with a string dipper in saltwater through your balls then put the same exact string in your eyeball where it will mold and cause you to go blind. So then you will need a seeing eyedog named butch who will chew on your infected nutsack every day for the rest of your life. Then he will die xausing you to cry out of your blind eyes and you will be left helpless crying for your dead ball chewing dog in the street while you are mowed down by a guy in a powder blue prius and live in pain for exacly 666 minutes before you die finally exiling you to hell. THEN (no i am NOT done) satan's minions will chew out your kidneys and stuff them in your ass that doesn't have a sphincter then when you talk you will sound like al kheida and be pelted with rocks everywhere you go until you are hated enough to be let into the tenth chamber of hell where your immortal soul will burn for tens of hundreds of thousands of centuries without any shit breaks until you fucking explode and guts go everywhere and your wife (who is not missing you at all cause shes fucking your cousin steve) gets hit with your gay ass bowling ball pancreas and then your soul goes to super hell where they convert you to a cat fucking atheast with no liver and then they will torture you with your dead dog butch's soul and he will chew the remaing peices of your infected nutsack off untill he is forced to chew off his own infected nutsack and shove it down your throat so you choke and die again and go to supra hell (hell worse that super hell) and have your nuts replaced with hitlers nuts and then they send you back up to earth where you find a sign sticking out of your head that says i have hitlers nuts! and then when people read it they wil get their dogs to chew out your new balls and rip off your face and then you die and go to butch hell and 100000000000000000000 butch clones chew your balls for ever and ever and ever! Eventually one of the clones will eat your last bit of nutsack off and you will be crying from so much pain that they kick you out of Butch hell and send you back to Earth where you are forced live in an apartment with over 9000 gay people in New Jersey untill Richard Simmons breaks in your house through your toilet and forces you to do hours and hours of dancing to the oldies. And just when you think it's all over, Carrot Top comes over to do some prop comedy for you. Then, after breaking your leg, a giant koala bear breaks in through your window and chews the other off. Then you, laying there, legless Pedobear breaks in through your shower and pokes a hole in your cheek which he sticks his wang in until there's a huge meteor shower which rips through your body, and leaves you alive to feel nothing but pain and suffering. All other human beings are dead but yourself, and you can't move. Your only food comes from the occasional cockroach that climbs in through a hole in your cheek (that Pedobear made from poking you so much) and walks down close enough to your throat so you can swallow and the cum you got from Pedobear raping you. Then 30 years later, bunch of ass robot-pirate-bears come for you and start poking even more holes in your body 'till you bleed to death and go back to Butch hell where you belong

ITS GOOD YOU TELL US ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS LEEANEE

Actually, from what I can tell you're kind of being selfishly social. Much in the same retrospect of a little boy or girl not wanting to sleep with anyone other than mom or dad, or losing their doll etc.

Truthfully, it doesn't make you different; you being like this, it just makes you immature.

To be completely honest I'm kind of the same way. I'm a tad more social but that's to get my jollies out of making other people laugh. Other than that though, and making myself have "aquaintances" in classes so I'm not entirely alone in public, I don't find myself making very many lifelong friendships. Even when I have those lifelong friendships (it's usually with guys) I don't much like to have people over or go over peoples' houses. I especially hate sleepovers because I feel like a fucking slave hosting the needs of another person when I clearly care about my needs more than theirs. I enjoy my "alone time" way more than my "friend time" about 90% of the general time.

:3 In short, I feel you, darling.

Well that was a depressing read

damn

true this

keep the smile it helps i guess

dont work too hard

Don't worry, it comes with the times too. People these days are simply not like people in the old days. Even from when you and I were kids versus kids these days or kids before us or anything. It can't be compared similarly. =/ So the friendships/reasons for friendships have obviously shifted with the times. People are a lot more for personal gain than the mutual gain of a friendship and therefore these now-a-days friendships are getting very materialistic. The minute you're not at any personal gain it automatically becomes a battlefield of spilled secrets and shit. It's not trustworthy or anything anymore. So theres a BIG cause for less interpersonal bonds. Besides that, a lot of people just suck at being interesting.

Let's face it--we're pretty fun people and abnormal too, in more ways than one, and because of that people like you and I and a lot of people on ng will NEVER lead boring lives. We will always be interesting and we will always be looking for people more interesting/cool/fun to be with than ourselves. And only we know what we want/like. Who better to fullfill that need than yourself? :3 No biggy, again though I've been here and felt this same way. I used to feel like different about it "do i really just hate people/interaction this much" but hey i'm not alone and either are you. look at everyone here saying the same thing! hah

I very much am the same way. I have a very hard time connecting with people and just prefer to be by myself for long periods of time. Then I wonder why I'm like this. It's nothing to do with the fact that you're a "freak" or anything, you're just wired differently, if you will.

I think you're an introvert, in fact I'm sure of it. Being an introvert is hard as we live in an extrovertist society where it's considered normal and healthy to be socially outgoing. Whereas introverts, who prefer internal stimulation, are considered aloof and taciturn and are unwillingly pushed to be more "social." It is a bit sad as only about a quarter of the population are introverts.

Anyway, read this article on introversion: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303 /rauch

I especially agree with the part about extroverts having no grasp of introversion, as it describes your situation perfectly. Don't beat yourself up over having little interest in people. It's how you are naturally. Extroverts don't understand the need to be alone; they always call when we're in our much-needed solitude, etc. They think they're helping us, and they mean well, but they aren't, really. I'm not saying you should cut all connections with your friends, by all means, don't, but don't put yourself through guilt trips because of your disinterest in them. Self-understanding is the key.

If you haven't already, I'd take the MBTI: http://ww.mypersonality.info/

It really helped me figuring out who I was and why I had such tendencies and what not, and it turned out I had a really rare type (INFJ), but it described me PERFECTLY. So I guess if you really want some insight into who you are, I suggest taking the test.

I'm nervous around people. I love being alone, but I also love being around people sometimes. There are a few people I really like. I'm nervous around people. I want people to like me, mostly. Although I also don't care what people think. I'm nervous around people. Wait, maybe I just like people that like me and I like to strengthen that liking of me which usually makes me like them. It's weird, I'm weird. I'm nervous around people. You're fine, I'm sure. I actually don't know how I feel because I'm never around people, except on the internet in Stickam mostly. I'm nervous around people.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger _syndrome

I can't stand being around people. I can't go into public places without feeling nervous or anxious, I can hardly talk to strangers and meet new people. I have few friends because I prefer it that way, I'm paranoid enough as it is. Some doctor once called it Social Anxiety Disorder, but I feel like that's a cop out.

I think I can understand where you're coming from, some what. I won't pretend to know exactly how you feel because nobody does.

I don't think disliking the presence of others or preferring to be alone is necessarily a bad thing, as long as you can tolerate it enough to live a normal life, and judging by your post it seems like you can. In my opinion, pretending to be someone else just to make friends is probably the worst thing you can do, because then they're not friends with you, but a persona.

Pfftt no problem! Shouldn't have to feel at all negatively about the way you are. :)

No problem!

The Judging vs. Perceiving doesn't mean juding as in "judgmental," it means having plans and timetables set as opposed to being flexible and going with the flow. Just in case you were confused there.

And I'm really happy to help, I was in that position once where I felt like I couldn't figure myself out. Taking the MBTI really helped me understand myself even more, and it helped me pinpoint not only my strengths but also my weaknesses.

Also, here's a good website that describes each type, really helpful as it's written in first-person: http://bestfittype.com/intj.html

I have a lot more links, just PM me if you want them :)

Love yourself, for who you are.

"Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts."

Good article, but this part is pretty funny.

I also took the personality test thing and got the engineer one. Not that I expected anything different.

your fat irl

i agree with Tiki dog

I know this my post isn't helping you in anyway, but then again are any of the others?

Just thought I'd point out a nice song that you could relate to: I Hate People by The Anti-Nowhere League.

I am like everything you just descibed.
But I do like hugs... *sniff*

Your page makes me lose my smile :(

I can understand about being introvert thing. I obviously happen to be one as well, and I can honestly say that after reading up on it and taking some online quizes about it(that helped to describe as to what kind of Introverted person i am) and now I'm proud of having that unique sense of identity in me.

So what I'm saying is that you should be proud of who you are, regardless of how you really think of yourself.

Keep your chin up Leanne, life may be shit at the moment for you, but you have no where else to go but up.

So uh, yeah.

PM me to sign a pettition against atheism!

It's ok, you don't have to interact with other humans, interact with other dogs.

P.S. You're my favorite dog lady *looks around* ever!

hey there sexy