Well maybe not, but come on, a shark sleeping bag?

Do want.

Just to cuddle with :(

And in the opposite direction is this kid walking my way. It's darkish, only about 5pmish I think and I naturally move to the left of the street so he can take the right. I notice then from the distance that he seems to have his hand in his pocket. He's wearing black trousers and a black t-shirt so the white skin from his arms was quite noticeable.

As he gets closer, I notice his hand is actually more central.

Closer again and I realise that his hand is down his pants. Not on his belt buckle, or just resting his fingertips inside, but his whole hand is down there, not moving. So he wasn't scratching an itch or anything.

I know guys do like to touch themselves whenever possible but literally this kid just had his hand resting inside his pants, right in there and he was totally unfazed about walking past someone while doing it, and he was heading in the direction of the main road too, hand still attached to his groin.

He looked to be only about 13 too which was probably even scarier. Made me feel scary looking at his crotch as he passed, but then I was just amazed at his behavior.

Is this abnormal?! Or am I just out of touch now with youth?

I saw some porn made during the second World War. The stars were a British soldier and a German woman.

The soldier slowly unbuttons the woman's blouse, kissing her neck as he does so. He then unclips her bra to reveal her round, pert breasts. He licks and then sucks gently on her erect nipples.

Next, he removes her skirt. She is wearing black stockings and suspenders, with lacy knickers. He nudges her underwear to one side so that he can spread her moist lips, teasing her with his fingers.

He then pulls her knickers off completely, and pushes her onto the bed. The Brit looks over the German, in complete control.

He kneels down and begins to lap at her pussy, slowly at first, then building up speed. He flicks her clit relentlessly. She starts to moan, clasping the headboard tightly in readiness for the climax. The end is near, and they both know it.

She wriggles on the bed, helpless at what is about to happen.

At that point, an American soldier kicks down the door, pushes the Brit to one side, and spunks in the German's face.

Can't wait until he starts walking and talking. Be sweet to see him playing with Oliver, or following Oliver when he gets older too.

Love my nephews.

For zombie porn is too close to necrophilia for my liking.

I've found mine. It's joyous.

All I need is;

- My computer in front of me (I know right)
- Itunes open with my soul tunes on shuffle - Four Tops, Diana Ross, Marvin Gaye, Delfonics, Temptations featuring heavily.
- One sinfully hot mug of black coffee, 3 sweeteners
- Hoody on with hood up

I've never felt such wonderment.

But getting told by a customer that I'm a credit to the company has just made my week.

I guess this is job satisfaction.

------------
Edit
------------

Also it's been 30 minutes since the telephonist today got in the office and I want to fucking throttle him already. I cannot survive another 6 and a half hours of him sniffing his nose, and you can hear all his snot fly back up into him. And ugh I feel sick and need to beat something. Why are bodily noises so disgusting?

I even told him to blow his nose but he says it hurts cause it's blocked. He's not even ill. He just has a disgustingly runny nose and he doesn't realise that the noise of him sniffing isn't pleasant to me or the customers he talks to on the phone.

I miss Danny.

There goes my happiness from the nice customer in the space of 15 minutes.

FML

1. Open this tab.
2. Open this tab.
3. Open this tab.

Enjoy.

Thats all I really have to say. I should stop trying to write fanfiction.

Heres a lovely picture of some trees.